I’m tired…. I’m frustrated….and I need inward resolution to be able to fully enjoy my hobby. I absolutely love going out and taking photographs, for me it is the process that I enjoy so much and everything that is involved in making photographs and I have allowed some of that joy to be taken away from me by a pursuit of perfection and the endless questions I ask myself about what others will think of the photographs that they will see, which is such a small part of the journey. I have been ruminating about this for years and have allowed it to take much of the joy of photography away from me and while I have wanted to express my thoughts about it, it is this inward drive toward perfection that has prevented me from doing so.
I think I have often confused the difference between striving for perfection, or expecting everything to be perfect, and doing what I enjoy to the best of my abilities. For me, the first comes with a lot of stress and anxiety which prevents me from full enjoyment, and the second is a peace I hope to find and have in the journey.
In photography, when you produce an image, that image in whatever format, is all anyone else gets to see. And today, I am sure it has always been this way, it seems that we don’t enjoy what has been presented but begin by judging it. And in photography, the first judgment always seems to be, was this edited, doctored, or is this real, and therefore the viewer, who did not make the journey in producing the photograph, seems to be looking for some justification for the image.
YES, I edit every photograph that I make. And for every photograph that I make, it is a very long editing process that has taken years. I bring to every photo, years of my life experiences, my viewpoints, my personal struggles, and my joys. And then for every photograph, there are the decisions about, when am I going to shoot, where do I go and even then I really have no idea what I may find and so the editing process continues with deciding what am I going to photograph based on what “I” see. Once I find something of interest, the editing process continues with some of the following choices: what camera, what lens, what focal length, what settings (aperature, iso, and shutter speed), where do I stand, what do I include in the photo, what don’t I include, what angle do I take this at, as well as other choices (and in a prior journal entry I have noted that I like to get close). So up to this point, every photographer has edited what they take and it will be different for us all.
Now to the part that everyone appears to be interested in and what bothers me the most, how is this particular photo edited following capture.
For me, it depends, and this is where I actually feel the most turmoil. This is where the journey and joy of photography has begun to fade for me. Not in the continuation of the editing process but in the external and internal judgments that this photo isn’t real or right, it’s fake somehow. This is the struggle for me, that with every click on the computer, I feel a drive to “perfect” the photo at the same time allowing the pressure of criticism to affect me and therefore remove the joy I feel from the journey.
I edit my photos very simply using several programs. I generally make the following edits: I set the camera and lens profile, I adjust texture, clarity, and vibrancy and I crop. I will then clone the image for hot pixels and distracting specular highlights. I generally use a preset for contrast or if converting to black and white, adjust curves and brightness and then apply sharpening.
I can’t draw, I can’t paint, I can’t sing, but I can take my camera and journey out and make a photograph. I need to enjoy that journey. These photographs are a part of my journey, they are not perfect, but they are me, and I hope that when you view them, they and I can at least be a part of your journey.
